Be Careful What You Wish For Read online

  I have lived alone too long. Slowly the aching need inside has grown worse... aching to be free... to be harnessed... fulfilled. To be what it was always meant to be. At the heart is the spirit of womanhood, sexuality suppressed and yet nonetheless real. And the final acceptance of my experience has been in discovering that controlling love is possible, that it exists, and that someone can be controlled... and yet cherished all at the same time. Once I knew that... then it was going to take The One, with a special kind of magic, to finally lead me Home.

  Pandora

  Hope

  It was another day before the words she hoped for arrived.

  I have always believed that the bravest souls take on difficult lives. It is what brought you to this exchange. Your light made others throw their darkness against you. The more I read the more the vibration feels right, a tingling in my aura, we are on the same wavelength. This is right for both of us.

  I’m sure we will be friends, and that is a good step.

  She sniffs the air again and pauses, her eyes seem nervous, excited. She has a sense of trepidation, she is joyfully confused. She could hold her head forward and return to nibbling the grass, her wings hanging forlornly at her sides, soft tears rolling into the dew as the night mists roll through the gnarled trunks. The darkness could invade her and she could wander in the forests of the night forever. OR she really could accept the bridle, let Him ride her, let him lift her feet on the invisible stairway of the air, and then she could truly spread her wings on something she didn’t know existed other than as a lonely wind on stark mountain tops. That would be true freedom.

  She snorted - as if she had any choice.

  She’d heard that horses had to be broken to let a man mount them, and they were sorry for it. She knew different. For them it was something they wrestled with. But not her... for her it was as it should be. She had looked long and hard at herself, whilst wandering in the willow wickets and by silver streams, and she knew otherwise. She needed to have him there with her. Together they would be something else.

  There had been men who had tried to force her to bow her mane and used ugly tricks to try to capture her spirit, but they were doomed to failure by the very nature of their advances. She’d had to endure it, had to see what life could throw against her in the dim low world, so she would really understand what the freedom He could bring would mean. So she could soar free as a bird with her special relationship and really know how good it was, and really know that she was being fulfilled, that her Destiny had been hard at first but was to lead her to a still deep pond of great depths where her spirit truly lay. She and those who guided her were brave souls and had given wings so that she would eventually know how to fly. Fairy books suggested that she should fly from birth. But they were fairy stories. She had to gain her wings - or at least the use of them.

  She being of a different vibration than those of the low world, could see the paths through it, see the hurdles and know a way out. She with her insight could map charts for others who would otherwise fall at the hurdles and ditches set upon the earth to ensnare people in their passage of life. Her nature, she knew, was always different. Sometimes she almost lost heart for it was so hard to see. Instinctively she moved on, had to retrace certain steps that seemed familiar, but it would now be so different.

  Now she could sense it near, now she felt the breeze in the leaves in a new way, something familiar but lost was approaching.

  Soon, soon He would come.

  Together they would move forward. He would know the path to take and how to unfold the wings that could tease flight from the very air she breathed.

  On gentle summer days they would spread those feathered limbs and soar on warm currents under cotton-wool cumulus clouds, buoyed up by her nature and His control, supported by the heavens themselves.

  We are beginning our journey.

  Take my hand and I will lead. My strength is greater than you have ever imagined.

  Dream Catcher

  Her writings flowed in a stream of consciousness.

  ...I need a Master who can break my spirit free, to teach it how to fly. It oozes from me, emotion totally overwhelming, swamping me. I have no way to hold it in check. After a lifetime of being suppressed, my sexuality needs shape and form to be allowed to develop, to explore in a safe, protected, trusting environment, with a Master who has a greater control than the conditioning of my past, who can instruct and teach to bring out this side of me, who will cherish and love me totally and completely forever. He will also need to understand my barriers, and help push beyond, having the experience and the wisdom to know my limitations. Will you accept the challenge?

  Pandora

  The answer was immediate.

  Control... instruct... cherish, is the way it will work in this relationship between us, on the journey already begun.

  I’m wondering if your turning back to a relationship based on control with caring could be cathartic. Living out the real you... being held by Me.

  You have taken a brave step given what is an abusive past and the fears it leaves you with today. But your courage will be rewarded. Master/slave relationships are about feeling more, being allowed in safety to explore deeper and beyond the limitations you know. And it is within that relationship that I can give you wings and teach you to fly.

  Being open the way you are you need a different type of relationship. For it is through your openness, your vulnerability that I will make you strong, protected and safe within controlling love.

  I will be firm with you, so that when past hurt wells up and you fear and rally against me, I will hold you secure. At other times you will find me gentle, generous as a Lover, pleasing you as you will please me.

  We will walk together on a moonlit beach, and on other times face the wild rushing as it stirs the waters up into shocks of spray that tear at our hair and makes our faces glow red with its energy. And we will know that we have lived. I am a Healer. My energies are strong and what you have said of your needs makes my desire to know you grow stronger.

  I accept your/the universe’s challenge.

  We will walk hand in hand in Innisfree. Your dreams are the sweet embrace of Morpheus. You will find me gentle and strong in your waking life, and that which has disturbed you we will together shrug off like waking from a bad dream and ride the flow of energy as is right in the life tension that flows between us.

  The porthole of another dimension beckons. Will you have the courage now to follow it through and thus discover your full potential?

  Dream Catcher

  Control. Instruct. Cherish. The words tasted bittersweet, and yet something about them connected deep within her soul. She was certain she’d found what she’d been looking for all her life.

  Dream Catcher

  You have awakened the thirst in me, the desire to fly. Will you really ride with me on the crest of a wave of pure orgasmic emotion? Will you really be there for me... holding me tight? Please, I need you to be firm. I need to know your strength, your control, is greater than the power within. You have unleashed this wild thing, making it reach out for you... craving your attention, asking you to meet its need. Please can I ask; where does this take us now? And be warned, in unleashing this as yet untethered beast, she will share in abundance. She loves your words, she soaks up your passion, she is already a part of the Dream. Lead me, harness me, hold me, guide me, teach me, include me, make me a part of your power, your magic, your love? And please, write soon?

  Pandora

  Nothing mattered any more in the life outside. This doorway into another world, a world begging for her to be a part, took over to the exclusion of all else.

  Soon the adventure would begin. She had fears, more about herself than anything else. Another kind of submissive would fear that her Master would be displeased. That He might be disappointed. Her life belonged to him and it was her only aspir
ation to please him. The other submissive would not care to ask for herself. Would never utter ‘please’ like it was a demand... but then she’d be different. Pandora’s Master would not ask her to pretend. He would only mention it in passing. Dream Catcher values Pandora already; she has a way of writing beyond most women, she has a depth of emotion bursting to be set free on a winged chariot of the night. She must be special for him.

  Dream Catcher

  Her spirit of the night roams free... reaching out, seeking what she may find from a far-off shore. Her spirit of the night is restless... carrying as it does a life force of emotive energies which need to be harnessed if they are to make their true mark. Within her they stir, bubbling up like a cauldron of pleasures and cravings, fantasies and dreams mixed with a healthy dose of excitement and intrigue... and something more reaching in from an as yet unexplored source, a cluster of magic moments formed carefully with vision and with experience and foresight... moulded in love.

  She looks down to see the person she has become, to bring out what she must be to Him. Others see her as strong, open, with an ability to share and to hold others’ pain. She hesitates now... being born with a disability from birth leaving one leg a little shorter and thinner than the other and therefore a weakness down her right side... feeling suddenly unsure, needing to change the shell containing all her dreams, her hopes, her hidden depths and emotions.

  Pandora

  Even though she is caught in sub-fever her ability to write about it remains clear. This one has potential. This one means something. He knew now about her fears and her needs. She needs to be cherished for what she is. The world has treated her badly, men abused and used her, making her feel that her body somehow made her inadequate, and from and through all these ghastly human mistakes people made with her she developed a caring soul, blessed with courage and articulate enough to set them down to her soul friend. Her ability to share will enhance the journey I will lead her upon, no horizon is too far. We will set sail together and reach heights that ordinary people never even dream about.

  Even as we write, the unicorn could feel sensations beginning in the wings that lain forlorn on her back for many a year, indications that new energy was reaching into her special parts, that would soon part the wind and allow her to rise above the crowds that had mocked her down on the forest floor. It was as if they feared her, knowing she was different to them, that they set her aside and jeered, hollow awkward monstrosities, projecting their fears, their inadequacies on her. But soon as a couple she and Master Dream Catcher would sail forth on the skies, and joined by something deeper than just the flesh, cross the rainbow bridge and wander in new dimensions.

  Dream Catcher

  The final response leading to their prearranged meeting came as she was retiring to bed, coinciding with the end of her contract at work.

  A unicorn waits on a dark night in a moonlit glade, scuffing the ground with its forefeet and snorting the chill in the air, its expectation high. The moon is full and mystery lies curled in the roots of the ancient forest. Tonight she might learn to fly with the Master fate called forth for her. The man of mystery and power, who will know how to drop the yoke of her bridle around her and raise her feet to climb into the other element through which she always knew she was destined to fly. A twig snaps a way off and she flicks her ears back to listen; to sense The One. Her ears then lie flat on her head. She is anxious, her heart beats faster... could this really be it? Another dimension beckons her and he will lead her to her full potential.

  Hence the journey begins. Take my hand and I will lead. White Lady of the Numberless Dreams... come to me.

  Dream Catcher

  She was being led she knew not where. Nor did she care. Everything she felt made this right, and forged the path she would follow to become a part of the Destiny that waited for her.

  Dream Catcher in turn knew from her response that already she was someone he very much wanted to meet.

  Her innocence, her vulnerability and her past abusive experiences made her a virgin in love. Even though she had a daughter, she had never truly known the experience of cherishment and love for herself, given by a man.

  She had yet to know the desires and passion of true womanhood, and touch the sexuality that lay dormant within. But he knew he must tread carefully so as not to spook or make her afraid.

  Through their writings and sharings over weeks of shared emails, their commitment to one another had become deeper, more sure.

  He’d set her tasks, bid her refrain from the practice of masturbation, which he discovered she did regularly, sometimes two or three times in a night, and to read his emails clad only in bra and pants. He was grooming her, preparing her for what would follow. And she, already obedient to his will, offered herself freely, willing to serve and please, befitting of the slave she wished now so desperately to be.

  The plan was to meet at a motorway services for a coffee, leading into lunch if all went well.

  You will dress elegantly in black with some hint of cleavage. And you will wear a single red rose as befits going to your Destiny.

  Abi had taken great care over her clothing, choosing the long skirt and loose-fitting blouse, hoping to hide those parts of her body she didn’t want him to see. She had not yet grasped the fact that he would want to inspect his slave-to-be, that she would appear naked before him.

  As they passed through the initial greetings and coffee to lunch, he ordered for her, and she had been happy for him to do so. Then, as they approached the door to the room booked in advance he’d quelled her fears with a smile and a hug.

  What happens from this point on and within the confines of this room is ours. You will obey and give yourself completely into my control.

  Her mouth had opened to respond. A finger lightly brushed her lips. His hand pushed open the door. She tingled and trembled with suppressed passion as she took her first tentative steps into this new and very different world.

  Special

  Back home she was a cat on hot bricks, checking email every fifteen minutes or so... waiting, wondering, hoping, yearning to know she was accepted, and that Dream Catcher would prove to be the Master she was looking for... finally... The One.

  Her answer came within a couple of days.

  ‘A pity beyond all telling

  is hid in the heart of love’

  Our favourite poet (WB Yeats) once again strikes straight into your soul with these lines. Why do I think of you when I recall them? I have been moved beyond all telling by your words, past pain, sharing and need.

  I am aroused by what you ask of me and you have played on my mind these past few days since my return. I want to reach deep into your soul and find that switch, that trigger and take you on that wonderful journey to the fusion of pain/pleasure/control and fulfilment. Everything which has been denied you in the past will be yours for the future.

  That is my Promise to you.

  We will start slowly, oh so softly, so slowly, so that every nuance of pleasure can be felt by you thrice-fold and more, and then re-experienced again and again and again. It will be part of your conditioning leading to control.

  Together we will choose the tools of your delight or torment, for these items are to be yours and yours alone. You will treasure them and look forward to the hours we spend playing together with them - a collar of ownership, bindings and perhaps to begin, a light chamois whip. Nipple clamps, and later, if all goes well, some special clothing.

  A strange mix of fear, guilt, and yes, excitement as well as an urgent sudden overwhelming need to obey, caught Abi in the throws of an orgasm so rich, so sweet that already her lips were parting with soft moans escaping every breath. Obediently she spread her legs as had been her instruction. Never now was she to allow them to close on reading his emails. The wetness came even without her bidding, and she uttered the words, ‘For you, Master, for you,’ as she climaxed...r />
  It came without fingering. Her nipples stood proud; even the shy one came out to play. Still shaking she tapped the keys, spelling out her feelings, her passion, arousing in turn she hoped the Master who took them from her. Feelings and passion merged in the ether, crashing on a distant shore in mutual understanding and consent.

  You are ready. Do you trust me to come when I call? To follow through the steps I will bid you take?

  Her contract of employment was already ended. She’d no place to go and was totally free of commitment in both work and personal life. The only worry on the horizon was financial. She didn’t want to lose her home. But Master had agreed to pay all expenses for a period of one year so she would have something to go back to if it did not work out between them.

  I am ready, Master. I give myself to you. Please, look after me well.

  Do not worry, Little One. You will be safe in my hands. Submissive in nature, you will be accepted and loved for what you are. Remember, control... instruct... cherish. These will be the steps that will guide you through to your full potential and the realisation of the dream we will share together.

  In the next few days you will receive instructions. Follow them well. And be patient. I will see you soon.

  Dream Catcher

  Abi entered the state known as ‘sub-heat’, constantly aroused and in a perpetual state of orgasmic wetness and barely concealed passion as she desperately tried to focus on putting her affairs in order. She made certain all bills were paid, telling her family only that she would be away, and in contact soon.

  On the seventh day an envelope fell through the letterbox.